ETSY - not just a pretty face!

Hurrah! Have enough bare knowledge of HTML to be able to stick my Etsy mini-shop in the right place, with text and everything!! Ok I know a twelve year old can do it blindfold.. but still..

Its easy to dismiss such websites as "just for hobby artists", but this is such a well thought out and well presented site that it deserves a mention. Not only does it look neat and professional, but it has some very clever ideas - for example it displays a palette of colours, you can click on a colour and it comes up with a whole raft of objects and art in that colour. Pretty nifty! It could very easily be naff but I dont think it is. I err on the side of crafts anyway, and although I do flinch a bit when people ask for a painting to go with their sofa, I'm humble enough to realise thats what real life and real people are like, I'm not talented enough (or young or trendy enough) to go down the whole conceptual art route, and besides, I like the idea of appealing to ordinary people. If I was clever and socially gifted enough to be exclusive and successful that would be great, but the way it is I'll settle for inclusive and accessible.

Here's another place I frequent. No HTML code for this as yet, so you'll have to click on the link. Many of these guys are hobbyists but it is nice to share and support and be part of a virtual community, especially when you are met with so much indifference in a real-life one.
http://www.artwanted.com/artist.cfm?artid=28084

Ditto eBay. Scoff all you want!! There's people with an MA from Goldsmiths in my groups there! Just cos they dont sell to millionaires or frequently inhabit the White Cube doesn't make them any less serious or talented!
http://myworld.ebay.co.uk/hatwearinggirl

At the end of the day, it helps clear space; and if people like my paintings I'd rather see them being appreciated than locked away in my attic or a warehouse gathering dust..

The Pursuit Of Happiness

I dont believe you can really seperate art and creativity from emotion, so sorry but I'm going to go on an emo trip here. You can always look at other blogs or websites if you get bored, but this is important to my work.
I want to comment on this story -
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6711071.stm
I have been battling depression for years. But the moment things get REALLY bad, like facing bereavement, illness, unemployment - really terrible uncertainty, I feel quite elated! Reading this I realise its not so perverse, also I was told in therapy that - basically - shit happens and its OK to feel like shit when it does. Generaly day-to-day niggles wear one down, but it takes the big things to really slap you in the face and tell you to get over yourself! A good example of this is our current situation at home. My husbands good friend and business partner has only months to live after struggling with the sudden onset of terminal cancer. The whole situation of this illness came as a sudden shock, he was a fit and well man when we had the first company Christmas do. Not only does my husband face losing a great companion but also the prospect of a flourishing business, the papers to dissolve and divide the company are being signed in the next week. Yet we have had the funniest weekend - really sincere and spontaneous humour, not dark and contrived - swapping one liners like "Dawn's broken" "Oh I'll fix it later" at 4 in the morning. Sometimes you just have to sigh and accept things instead of thinking you should be singled out for more favourable treatment by some greater power. Human beings are capable of such courage in the face of adversity, look at the Blitz spirit, but sadly these days when we are being saturated by images of the ideal we find it hard to dig down and find these resources.
When we do, its amazing how much perspective you can have in the world, you realise whatever you do its not the be-all-and-end-all, puts the ego in its place, allows you to feel really oceanic and part of nature and what's going on around you. Its important to realise how precious life is, and how your plans can go a bit wrong and you can still survive, maybe go on to be stronger.
The best thing is, you can turn around to people who say "You make your own luck" and tell them they're talking bollocks, and you can do this with some authority and confidence - seriously I think people who say this are really trying to fool themselves. Failure is inevitable at some point, so is bad luck. As the saying goes - there's nothing certain in this world except death and taxes. Well it catches up with you in the end. The Inland Revenue's been on my case as well!
Life is not all wonderful. If it was, we'd be bored, we wouldn't appreciate the good times. In a nutshell - into every life a little rain must fall - and - like the grass - we need the rain to grow..

Whatever Happened To Peepers?

End of the course and I'm just sitting here quietly disintegrating. Its painful and tiring but its necessary, something has to disintegrate before it can regenerate, and believe me I've had more regenerations than Doctor Who. Every time it seems to take longer and sap more strength, but something new will come out of the end of it, I'm pretty sure of that, lor' knows what, but something...

Here's a sneak preview of what'll be in my part of the degree show. It aint much.. but its something.

I wanted someone special to come but I have lost their details...
You know who you are.

I GOT THE MUSIC IN ME!!

I hadn't realised how important an influence just ordinary pop music is to me until I listened to a documentary about record producers from the 1980's Jolley and Swain. I knew I was really into music in the 80's and even wrote a few reviews and critiques at school for some writing project or another, and I knew I didn't just like bands because they looked pretty (I was never a Durannie or a Whammie). I liked songs more than bands, the sound of something - I realised now it was the way the sound was produced. The secret was unlocked as I listened intently while Steve Jolley and Tony Swain and the artistes they worked with unpicked every tiny bit of each song they created. I was never any good at making music myself and despite trying everything from the recorder to the bass guitar and all sorts of computer software I dont have the discipline or knowledge required to actually layer all the notes and harmonies and effects up to make something worth people taking their time out to listen to, and I really admire people who can do this, especially with the limited technology that was available back then compared to what we have now...

LINK - http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/musicclub/doc_recordproducers.shtml

(I know this particular entry is a bit badly composed but its nearly that time.. Degree Show time.. and I am really tired.. have been lugging stuff backwards and forwards from college for the last fortnight, painting and worrying how the hell I'm going to collate all my research and bits together so it looks like some Body Of Work!)

Canvas Cam!

To encourage me to paint at regular times and hours after college, I am thinking of installing a CANVAS CAM where people can see streaming video of me working. I think this is a good idea both for people who want to see how art is made and to get me actually making stuff.. at the moment this is about all you'll see...

So I need to find out and get all the technical gubbins together, so that I can get the ball rolling. As far as I can Google I've only heard of one other artist who has a canvas-cam- in the US - no surprise there, and there's an artist in Cornwall who has a mention of it on their website but no link. It would be great to be the first UK artist to have live painting broadcast all over the world!

Dotty About Squares!

I love patterns involving spots, dots and circles.

Last term (ie before Easter and after Christmas) I did a lot of work involving repetitions of spots in spaces divided off into squares and rectangles. This was basically a continuation of an idea I had in the first year when I covered the painting corridor in a grid made of red spots and lines. I then collaged the red paper that was left with holes in it onto a black and blue canvas. Then, at home, I painted a board to look like layers of surfaces with holes in. Now I have masses of
canvases that have layers of colour with holes in!!

Colour and the Substance of Shape

My work at the moment has been influenced by my surroundings. One artist described a recent painting as a fractured distorted version of reality where everything seemed to be collapsing on itself.




















I think that's quite an accurate interpretation.

I use ideas from cubism, pop art, and German expressionism. The blues and turquoises are very Hockney-esque I think, but instead of representing water they are supposed to represent the sky blotted out by window frames and becoming caged off or fragmented. Earlier versions of this met with the criticsm that the window motif was too obvious: so I instead concentrated on the light that would pour through and get scattered on the floors, walls and objects.

Now I am taking similar arrangements of shapes and colours and applying them to a different aspect ration, a longer thinner canvas which is more like a decorative panel...

Catching Up!!

Well. I've only just remembered my login details. Since Christmas I've been trying to update this, trying to get my details from Blogger admin and going round in circles. But it just popped into my mind finally what it was! Hardly surprising given all the stress I'm feeling about the Degree Show, Artists Statements and what the hell I'm going to do when this degree is all over...

On the other hand.. I do find blogs irritating. Why do people feel all the useless "knowledge" they've amassed is worth sharing? Unlike the self-proclaimed philosophers, conspiracy theorists, god-botherers and general purpose nutters I actually am doing this for a perfectly good reason - namely that I want to do an online art course and this is the only way the tutors are going to be able to see my sketchbook. I certainly hope some poor misguided fool isn't going to use this as a reference guide, it seems every time you Google a term these days 90% of what you get is via some dodgy blog!

Have I lost my bottle?

Well, the ceramics project weant well, I got some good comments (verbally - haven't got the official report yet), and I really felt I could carry on making these objects and that I'd finally found something that I was good at that was worthwhile. The work was not as beautiful as I'd planned (the cobalt blue a bit wishy-washy for my liking, bit chinese-willow pattern or Dutch as opposed to Modernist blue, turns out barium would have been better), but as a mulitple displayed with the yellow is is pretty striking and of course the piece breaks into usuable units - beauty AND utility!


The problem now is - what do I do next? Do I stand up for my vision and continue making the bottles so that I can acheive the biggest extraordinary installation of ceramic "beautility" objects I can - invoking irritation and misunderstanding from my painting tutors and peers; taking up room on the benches, shelves and kilns in the Ceramics department; using the technicians time and expertise and using the materials, some of which I will have to pay for, to start with a blunger of slip costs out at anout £70 they reckon..? Or do I try and revisit my actual paintings on canvas, try and find something inspiring in my own work and that of others to motivate me and that will give me enough spiritual energy to put in the cognitive/subconcious effort and time/physical effort that such a new start would require. I really feel I need to back down and produce what will get me my BA, not be awkward just for the sake of making something I like personally: as I said to my tutor yesterday "I would love to do something cool and modernist
[with contrasting colours] but I dont think I will be able to get away with it..."

Its All Gone To Pot!

I'm in the middle of my Ceramics elective and everything that has gone wrong with my mould-making has gone wrong! I've had more slip and plaster on the floor than in my work, it seems. I really think MA Digital Arts is the way to go after this BA. Things might go wrong and be unrecoverable in my projects, but at least I wont be spending hours cleaning up and be walking around like the Homepride Flour Man!

I really hoped to be able to make lots of near-identical objects using the mould-process, I wanted to make an installation in a sort of Donald Judd type stick coloured objects around a space way... something consumerist/industrial/beautiful. Then the tutor lent me a couple of books on Piet Stockmans and it became clear that my ideas of the sublime represented by the mundane actually weren't that misconcieved and crazy.. so the tutors and technicians who think me making the same bottle-shaped object over and over again is boring and dull clearly are just on a different wavelength.. maybe thinking the object in itself is more precious than the repeated object. That said, most ceramicists end up making multiples for things like dinner sets and Stockmans installations have taken muliplicity to an artform. (Multiplicity.. is that a word? My inner thesaurus is not so reliable today!)















NOT MY WORK.. UNFORTUNATELY..

How AM I supposed to get any work done??

With this little rascal lurking in my desk taking over and knocking all my papers onto the floor.
Oh well.. she's nice company and loves the simple things in life.. mmm.. crumpled paper!

Barrett's Bicycles and Back To School

http://www.sydbarrett.net/Front%20Pages/art.htm

So, Syd (or Roger) Barrett's customised bicycles are for sale today.
Two customised bicycles belonging to the late SYD BARRETT are to be auctioned off in Cambridge, England. Barrett, who founded legendary rockers PINK FLOYD in the 1960s, died last month (JUL06) at the age of 60. The musician quit the music industry in 1972 and lived a reclusive life until his death. The bicycles on auction are two that Barrett hand-painted himself and rode every day. Paintings and furniture made by Barrett as well as his writing, art materials will also be up for auction. A spokesperson says, "The auction will consist of items left by Syd in his Cambridge house."24/08/2006 17:20 contactmusic.com
I wonder, if his visual contribution to society was as well recognised as his musical contribution, would he have self-destructed in such a spectacular way.
I reckon I could cope with MY art becoming famous. Indifference is horrible and often causes you to not recognise yourself, as you try to change to meet the tastes of others. I don't know if people who do not "indulge" in creative activities really understand this.
I really liked Syd's solo albums and his paintings. I customise my car. I wonder if he had ideas spilling out of his head and landing on any surface (mundane or professional) the way I do? I wonder what would have happened to him had he been on the medication I'm on?
Its hard to distinguish between unwanted thoughts/feelings/sensations and wanted ones. I'm glad I stayed away from Acid. I think it would have been a nightmare. Luckily I recognised early on that the mind/brain/soul(?) is a highly sensitive organ and any outside forces acting on it are bound to have some effect and a lot of the time this effect is totally unpredictable. OK, so there's the excitement, there's the risk, but if you spend enough time teetering on the edge of the void one day you are just going to fall in. And when you do, there's no way out.

Autumn is icumen in. The air is borderline wintry. I wont miss the summer - far too hot, too sticky the heat in this country, the grass went brown and its hard to nurture any energy both in the garden and in my own self. Its been raining pretty much daily for the last month, on and off, springlike showers mostly. Its given me a new sense of life. Not necessarily optimism, not exactly hope (which is like picking ideas up with slippery fingers without washing them first), just a willingness to engage with growing things. The show finishing has also added to this perspective. I am very much into creating in a collaboration now, whether it be with nature or other artists. Nature itself is an artist. We bought a shredder the other day and I am buying lots of plants on e-bay (in a frenzy of spending!) , and I plan where to put them in the garden - but that's really just supplying Nature with a palette and raw materials. She can then decide what thrives and what withers and dies. Ideas are like that. At the moment I don't want to paint because it doesn't seen real. Also I guess there is an element of shrugging ones shoulders after a week of effort rewarded by indifference. A break while I commune with nature will give me a bit of space and a bit of a jolt I think. Also its probably good for me too look at other artists instead of bashing away at my own stuff before I go back to college. Its Back To School fever everywhere but I still have a month. But that's not very long. I'm going to have to start focusing again soon. My partner is working a bit more locally now and the atmosphere in the house has changed somewhat for him being around more often, and I know if I treat the whole house as a studio its not going to go down well - so I'm ambivalent about going back to college. It'd be nice to be hands-on making things again, but I'll miss the privilidge of the peace and the privacy of home...
Syd was Roger at home and Roger was Syd outside. Home and Outside are polar opposites?

Micronight and Macroverse

I was awake til gone 2am last night, just looking at foriegn film sites.
Its amazing how the night is always a universe in itself, either you surf a virtual reality or your mind just makes one up. To me, dreams and the internet are very similar. They are non-linear in nature, yet one path may lead unexpectedly into another. You may re-awake old memories - for example, I happened to be led to a site about a film called Salo - I am sure this is a film that I stumbled across years ago when I happened to have the TV on late at night when I couldn't sleep. Stills from the film suddenly gave me a sense of great Deja Vu, and a feeling of homecoming. I'd had stills and scenes in my mind from a foriegn film that I desperatley tried to track down as it has left such an impact on my psyche and now it looked like I had found the answer completely by accident because I was looking at another film reference. Now, isn't it strange how the mind does this, I think the power of the subconscious is amazing, because it must've picked up cues and clues along the way, been led by attraction and fascination.
There has been a lot in the news about dreams lately. One person on Wikipedia even goes as far as to suggest that we remember 3d films as memories because the mind does not think of them as merely an image but as of reality because our eyes pick up things stereoscopically. Yet how does that explain visions that are as much a part of our experience than anything that has actually happened to us. I still remember the feelings of recoil and pain on viewing the mass rape scene in the Baby of Macon, and the utter revulsion and sympathy of the multimorph creature at the end of The Thing. Just celluloid or video images, and yet they play out in the mind as if they were recollections of real events. It is so strange how sometimes a film can give a child nightmares, like some kind of PTSD, and yet it is a story. However, the growing neurons in the mind can distinguish between a story and an event, surely. Or can they? Do the memories of a story perisist more than the memories of an event?

Equus and The Sparrow Factory

I dont know how I got to browsing for Equus but I've been absorbed for hours. I seem to recall seeing the film (probably on BBC2 in those days) as a kid and being rather bored and unimpressed by it, maybe because it involved adults shouting at each other and I got enough of that at home.. but now I daresay I could see the film and really get it. I think I'd rather read the play though, because what comes direct from the author is perhaps more authentic and has the lifeblood coursing through the story without it ending in the grandiose musculature of fleshing out that the theatre or cinema forms for our weak 2oth/21st century imagination.
What I think would stand out for me is the idea that you have to be normal and passionless in society, and that people who would deem to be caring and looking after you would remove the love of your life. I cant myself figure out what is normal and what people want from me.
Funny how people say "everybody is different" and then go on to impose what is important to them as vital for other people. Take eating breakfast for example. How is it that it is supposed to be good for ones metabolism, when one person can skip breakfasts and lose weight and the other person, with an identical lifestyle in terms of exercise and age, has to eat first thing?
The other interesting thing is, visually, the props of the stage sets for this play. I wonder if the set designers and costume designers of the recent stage adaptation of the Lion King looked at the way horses were portrayed in productions of Equus. The heads and the stilts look the same!







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I have been working very closely with sparrows. Not literally, but I watch them a lot. They are always in the garden and their presence amuses and comforts me. Their antics probably are purposeful in terms of survival: mating, eating, fighting, that sort of thing; but to me they look like they are playing, that their flitting from tree to tree and diving off fences and rooftiles is just for the fun of it. Then I hear them like giggling imps, looking down at us. I wonder if fun is just as important to survival as those other behavours I have listed. We could learn a lot from our little Passer Domesticus.

Sweating On A Donkey

No, not Sancho Panza in La Mancha! The place is Redhill and the donkey in question is one of those clackety wooden ones that resembles something you might find in the school gym. I like them, actually, great to sit astride and paint and draw. Makes you feel like a real hard-workin' artisan. And boy do I feel like that this week! Temperature in the 30's during the day, and night-time up to 24. 24!!! That, apperently, is one degree higher than the average DAYTIME temperature for this time of year. Never again will I moan if we have a cold July! Much as I feel sorry for people who actually have to work for a living (art doesn't count as work, does it..?!) I do feel the urge to whinge a bit after hours life drawing and sleepless nights. If we could all strip off like the model I think we'd all be a lot better off!!
I am actually seriously considering being a life model. The guy who's ours is definately a few sandwiches short of a picnic, the only requirement seems to be to be able to sit for a while in a set position. Now, I admit this does require a certain amount of strength, stamina, and self-discipline, and I'm rather concerned that my physique wont be up to the strain (I dont care what I look like, but the floppy bod may well collapse into a sweaty lardy puddle!), and the hyperactivity will have to be severly dealt with, but on the other hand life drawing classes are usually pretty laid back and oblivious to faults and failings and you dont need any qualifications and the are desperate for female models.. and I get to steal ideas!

A PUNCH-HOLE THROUGH LIFE

Just woke up from a dream where I was in an acting workshop directed by Christopher Eccleston (the Northern Doctor Who). It was fantastic. He had us all on the floor in feotal positions in situations like having the physical attributes of the opposite sex (to put it delicately), and other scenarios. When we became ourselves again I told him the experience was like "a punch-hole through life" - that statement stayed with me and it isn't as aggressive as it sounds. What it means is: life is a bunch of paperwork and the punch-hole is the space through it. Its the "flow" I guess, something which I am lacking at the moment. My punch-hole doesn't go all the way through and I cant see through, the paperwork of life is blocking the way.
I would love to be able to create that space again!

The Many Sides Of Flat

Flat Walls
Flat Fences
Flat Screen TV

What is behind them?

Well, consider this. Consider that painting was once a flat screen and people would gaze upon it as they would a scene in plasma electronica beamed from miles away. Consider the difference in technologies. But now.. consider the similarities.. both depict "other" worlds, ours but somewhat different, celebrate successes, initiate the innocent, stimulate shame, and laugh and despair at the figures on the screen which may or may not be human. The way I see it, painting is therefore certainly NOT dead. How different are the figures milling around in Impressionist paintings to the idle layabouts in Big Brother or the promenading crowds at the World Cup? How different are Kirchners prostitutes hanging around the street corners to the "hoodies" and "chavs" of today?
Behind each screen is a story.
What's behind your next door neighbours' fence?
It's probably very entertaining!

Shows and Sleeping

I'm conserving my energy at the moment. I should be upstairs sorting out all my artwork and tidying up, but its like an oven in my loft/studio. I should be going to London tomorrow to meet up with fellow artists for my upcoming show, but I can probably e-mail them all they need to know. Its in the 30's temperature-wise and I'm feeling very unwell indeed. I hate to whinge, because its only a bit of sun, but I just cant haul myself up to South London on a stinking train when I am well enough, let alone now when I have a summer cold! What can possibly be gained from listening to an over-anxious latino panicking, like last time we got together??
I will have to make it up to them. I shall e-mail them right now.
If its daft taking 2 hours to travel to London to take back a library book then its equally daft to turn up and try and get a word in edgeways while someone else is having kittens.. boy dont I love the internet and e-communications. Straight to the point, no messings, and all the illustrations there in one place. Call me lazy if you like. I just call it being on holiday.
Sleeping makes a nice change from commuting!

Anyway. Its not as if I'm not doing ANYTHING. I'm doing some little fun bits for e-bay (yeah, yeah.. I know..) and they are a nice no-brainer break; and I'm doing some oil landscapes of suburbia - which I think will look good in the show. (I wont need much space there. Most of my canvases are standard sizes). I'm my own boss for the next few weeks at least, but then I will be doing some short courses so I will have some critiscm again. Not that I dont get any from my e-bay groups. They dont ALL gush!



I ONLY WANTED SOMETHING ELSE TO DO BUT HANG AROUND

Seperated At Birth?

Tank Girl and Lara Croft!!



Who came first?

Adventures in Living Colour...

Just because something is just a canvas covered with paint, doesn't mean to say it cant be an experience in itself. Otherwise how would Bridget Riley and the Op Art movement succeed? And why shouldn't that type of painting continue to succeed? One only has to look at the craze for Magic Eye pictures just a few years back to see what a popular and powerful phenomena can be created just from a flat print, and painting can offer MUCH more than that! Architects and planners continue to utilise Bauhaus type notions of space and colour in their designs to help human beings commune with their places of work and living. So why has Fine Art abandoned these simple ideas that still have a lot more life left in them. There is so much possibility in the world of colour, just pigments suspended in a carrier applied to a surface.
Here are some explorations I have had using colours mixed from bog-standard acrylic tubes...



These are Monkeys that I did before my Foundation course. I was really interested in complementary colours and the optical disturbances they cause. I was trying to re-create the moment when I was reading my Tom and Jerry cartoon annual when I was a kid and the light blue and red shimmered and seemed to move and jump right out of the page!
I hope to recreate this effect in a grand scale, room-sized scale, maybe for my final project in the 3rd Year. In the meantime, I wanted to put down as many colours at a time as I could, with bland but striking repetitive patterns that would accentuate the placement of hues and tones..






Just imagine a whole room filled with this butterfly pattern! How overwhelming would it be? How long could people stand to stay in a space like that?